Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
