My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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