new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
