You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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