I smell stomach acid.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
