I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
