My nipple is on Facebook.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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