what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
