so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
