Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
