Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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