So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
