that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
