Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
