He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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