Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
