how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
