my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize