we're blogging at a bar
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
