Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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