your thong is hanging out like whoa
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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