Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
