So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have tasted many bathrooms
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
