Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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