I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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