You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
