I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
