I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
