i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
