Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
