you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
