thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
