don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
