Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
