she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it because I queefed?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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