Soap is not a condiment
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
