im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
