I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize