was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
did you just send me my own nude
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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