your room smells of hookers.
And success
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
