I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
