when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize