White coat. Heels.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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