The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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