eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize