i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You are a genius and a whore.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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