Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
