cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
