My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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