these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
