Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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