white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
