I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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