So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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