You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
