I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
