If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
