I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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