I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
