I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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