Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
