dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
