I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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